three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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