Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
