i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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