Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
