You can't special order awesome
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Found the puke drawer
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
