Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
