If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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