Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
