I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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