She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
a search helicopter?!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
