Pappa wants mamma naked
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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