Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
