So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
