Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
