their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
