I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
