Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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