At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
