i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
