The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
