so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
