Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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