you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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