Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
