so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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