sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
