I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
