I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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