so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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