Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize