Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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