I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You're like the curious george of whores
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
