this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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