Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
