god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize