3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
