Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
