And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
