Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
