Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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