R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A bitchslap is in order.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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