My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
