Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I wish there were birth control emojis
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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