Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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