No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
