ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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