did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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