I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
