I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
