Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
