When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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