Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
