um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Randomize
