Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
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