Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
