You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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