Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
