Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish i was in the wii world.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
