He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
