Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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