come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
