If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
