I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
