I wanna bring you to show and tell
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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