Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize