i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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