You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
