Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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