My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
